Reviews

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

This is how I think it went down — Silent Hill: Revelation 3D was shown to several test group audiences and every time the audience displayed confusion or boredom, writer/director (Michael J. Bassett) threw in something creepy.

“Yeah, yeah, school is boring”
Quick: throw some blood on the wall

“Not impressed by the b&w ash fallout”
How about a tidal wave of dark evil!

“Why is there a descending elevator here? Where are they going?”
Cut somebody’s fingers off!

Yes, from blood stained amusement park prize bunnies to human-sized mannequin arachnids, Silent Hill: Revelation is a wall-to-wall exploration in set design and nightmare fodder. I won’t even bother explaining the plot; it is completely unnecessary. This movie exists to give you the willies. Put creepy big mouthed no-eyed people on screen. Gimme a room full of eerily faceless sexy pathologically homicidal beweaponed nurses who respond only to movement. Turn school hallways into the gates of Hell. Sure, why not?

You might remember the first Silent Hill showed us a vision of Hell guarded by the mummified extras from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. Well, the Thriller is gone, baby, and wow, you wouldn’t believe how easy it is to get into Hell now! I expect it’s just at the end of my block or hallway. Far as I can tell, the big Revelation in this Silent Hill is all roads lead to Hell. Michael J. Bassett must have tried parking his car in my neighborhood for inspiration.

Now I don’t say Silent Hill is supposed to be Hell, per se, but imagine being awkwardly dressed for an extended family dinner taking place during junior high school and you’ve got some idea of the real world equivalent.

Not that it matters one little bit, but there are a fair number of real actors in this film: Carrie-Anne Moss, Sean Bean, Malcolm McDowell. I’d ask, “how?” but I know better. There’s no point to any of this. Probably why I appreciated it more than I should have.

When the plot is stuck
Aim for shock, not for reason
Ahhhh! Evil clown butcher!

Rated R, 94 Minutes
D: Michael J. Bassett
W: Michael J. Bassett
Genre: A vision of Hell
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Demonic interior designers
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Disney princesses

One thought on “Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

  1. Watched this today. I couldn’t just ignore the plot so found its inconsistency incredibly annoying. I wasn’t expecting much but was still disappointed.

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