I love Sam Rockwell. You know why? Because while, say, Brad Pitt or George Clooney is the guy you want to be, Sam Rockwell is the guy you are. And he’s really good at it. He’s not tall or athletic or handsome. In Better Living Through Chemistry, Doug Varney (Rockwell) looks like a drowned mutt next to his father-in-law Walter (Ken Howard). Now that’s the guy who will get punched in the face for telling a risqué joke or get shunned at the company picnic for being a douche. Yes, I can relate to Sam Rockwell.
Sam’s also a great actor, btw. Not that he gets to show it much here. Doug has inherited the local small-town pharmacy. Anticipating a store name change to “Varney,” he’s instead greeted with “Bishop,” the name of the former owner and his father-in-law. The humiliation is personal; nobody else seems to get that this is a slap-in-the-face. That moment, too, is easy to relate to – what are you supposed to do when you feel a pain none other can see or understand? The litany of personal mediocrity doesn’t stop there, no, not by a long shot. His employees are jackasses. His wife Kara (Michelle Monaghan) neither likes nor respects him and his son Ethan (Harrison Holzer) treats dad like an unwanted stray.
If you have to pick the biggest humiliation, it’s probably the wife. Sure, when the kid is caught spreading feces over rival’s lockers, yeah, that’s bad – but getting an earful like it’s his fault, well, that’s the next level. So one 
day, when Doug is making the rounds in lieu of his idiot delivery boy (Ben Schwartz), he encounters lonely ‘n’ hot Elizabeth (Olivia Wilde). Yeah, we pretty much know how this goes. Given the opportunity to live your crappy life or have constant Wilde sex, well, what would you do?
I can’t say I’m Wilde about how easily Doug abandons his values; it’s one thing to take hot sex when offered. Heck, you’re a guy; try avoiding that. It’s quite another, however, to start dippin’ into the company cookie jar. He must know how stupid, how wrong, and how temporary his pill-created euphoria is, no? I’m pretty sure in the pharmacy world, that’s not only quite illegal, but quite immoral as well. Look, pal, you think you deserve “Varney” on the marquee? Well, maybe a week into personal ownership is not the best time to start skimmin’.
The emasculation theme in film is a common one in our time. I don’t think it stems so much from the advent of political correctness as the evolution of masculinity in our current generation. I think there are people, many people, who truly fear that embracing emotional health undermines masculinity – it’s embarrassing when these people make movies. You end up with things like Wilde affairs and grown men throwing ninja stars. Hmmm, looking at that now, maybe my thesis is wrong – it’s great when these people make movies. But everybody should understand that superior masculinity is not the equivalent of hedonistic dominance. In the very least, let’s make our everyman not so easily manipulated.
Your prickdad-in-law still haunts your work
Your ninja kid is kind of a jerk
Your employees have issues stocking the shelf
Your intense wife is into herself
There’s a lonely dish who wants some o’ you
But that just ain’t the right thing to do
Ooooooooooo, mediocrity
Rated R, 91 Minutes
D: Geoff Moore, David Posamentier
W: Geoff Moore, David Posamentier
Genre: Emasculation
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Hans Moleman
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who has ever ordered, “grow a pair!”
