By gosh, I haven’t seen a prison rodeo film since Stir Crazy … or, maybe Did You Hear About the Morgans? Wait. Wait. My sources tell me Morgans wasn’t actually a prison rodeo; it just felt like being in prison while watching. Anyhoo, wild horses and wild men; this could be a whole lot of poignant. Play nice, boys … and don’t drop the saddle soap.
Do you believe in the redemptive quality of humanity? Simple question … but I feel the answers get less and less positive as I age. Before I discuss the film, let me ask one more question, just for the sale of ponderin’: what is the purpose of prison? Do you believe it to be punishment? Paying a debt? Rehabilitation? All? None? Something else?
Orange jumpsuited Roman (Matthias Schoenaerts) confesses he’s “not good with people.” We didn’t exactly need dialog to confirm that one, but it helps. Even among sociopaths, Roman ain’t romin’. He gets outdoor detail for a prison job. Every five a.m., he gets to shovel horse twinkies in cold, mountain air. All you ranchers out there – this is punishment for most folks. It’s OK, Roman is better off where all roads don’t lead to him. As long as he does his job, no human will say, “neigh.”
Funny thing about horses is sometimes they want to communicate with you. One particularly wyld stallyn insists upon a “knock knock” joke without a punchline. Curious about the beast, Roman plays hide ‘n’ seek and then actually gets in the paddock with the untamed monster. Huh, this film is gonna end real early, isn’t it? Well done, horse, you suckered him in; now claim his soul. Unfortunately, Roman’s foolishness is discovered before a massacre goes down; double unfortunately, Roman’s behavior captures the attention of the local grizzard, Bruce Dern. Uh oh, you’re workin’ for the MAN now, convict.
In this corner, you have 1,200 lbs of untamed beast, powerful, prideful, and pissed off about being incarcerated. In this corner, you have a man of stone, powerful, prideful, and pissed off cuz in every other role he gets hair. Nothing and nobody is Roman’s business … yet suddenly, a spark. Something piques his interest; of course, it’s not human. That wouldn’t be right. He and the monster share a ferocity, an untamed quality, a yearning not for freedom, but maybe just to be left alone.
You get what’s going on here, right? Man and beast are one; they both need to be tamed. And in the taming, there is gain and loss, joy and tears. Can either of these animals be truly domesticated? I suppose we shall see who gets a break.
The Mustang certainly has appeal; I would bet good money that bad boy Matthias Schoenaeaeaerts has about ten thousand more fans than he had last week. I’m always up for a picture devoted to protagonist development; that’s The Mustang to a T-bird. Of course, this is a movie made for the specific purpose of directing horse-loving girls to fall in love with hardened criminals … which I cannot call a win. Nor was I enchanted with a secondary plot of a drug angle added to the picture as if to remind us that prison isn’t a nice place to be, cuz *gosh* we’d never have noticed otherwise. The latter felt especially like filler material to pad a relatively anemic runtime. Look, if your story is about a man and a horse, let it be about a man and a horse. Leave the cell block riot to another film, eh?
♪What blows up must calm down
Sinning spiel got you in impound
Locked in solitary drives a man insane
Tame a tainted pony find your civil once again♫
Rated R, 96 Minutes
Director: Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre
Writer: Mona Fastvold, Brock Norman Brock, Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre
Genre: How to tame your dragon
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Believers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Bullies
♪ Parody Inspired by “Spinning Wheel”
