The evil clown is back, and it’s like It never left. Twenty-seven years later, the adults get a whack at It. But it takes a fair amount of convincing to get them to return to the town where they grew up. Makes sense, right? “Fellas, remember how your shitty childhood was exacerbated by a magical, homicidal, child-eating clown that you thought we killed? Guess what … ?” And, as expected, the reunion is all daisies and dim sum until an eyeball pops out of a fortune cookie. Gee, that’s a new one – look, disembodied eyeball, do you have lucky numbers for me or what?
It was my very favorite film of 2017, a near-perfect horror, inventive, scary, and iconic. The return twenty-seven years later to Derry, Maine, the awful town that gives generational rises to an unspeakable bundle of evil is not as good as the original. However, after my initial disappointment wore off, my question is, “good gravy, man, what were you expecting?” Because It Chapter Two is a damn good horror and a damn good story and quibbling with minor plot points and machinations shouldn’t detract from the fact that only legitimate reason –IMHO- to naysay is that it wasn’t as good as the first.
After an ugly hate crime yields to a clown-related murder, town librarian Mike (Isaiah Mustafa) recognizes that the evil has returned and phones up all his old buds. Who knew these crummy losers would become James McAvoy, Jay Ryan, Bill Hader, and Jessica Chastain? The film does an excellent job of reminding us “what’s their deal?” and “who grew up to be whom?” Reluctantly, the six (less a suicide) do return out of a sense of loyalty or a promise kept or maybe just to re-live such fond memories of hunting in the murder house and rooting around in the sewers for dead bodies. Who wouldn’t come back for that?
Richie (Hader) leads the crusade of “why the HELL am I here?” but is convinced to stay long enough so that the sextet can all split up and each can have their own terrible adventure. Yes, it is stupid, very stupid, that these adults have decided to do this, but it leads to some of the best scares in the film, especially when disguised It invites Bev (Chastain) to tea and when Richie is attacked by a Paul Bunyan statue in the town square. Honestly, the beauty of this set of films is that while Pennywise the clown (Bill Skarsgård) is plenty scary as is, fright is hardly limited to evil clowndom. It induces the cruelest of hallucinations, often preferring terror to homicide; but don’t worry, there’s still some good homicide, too.
If you’re like me, you might just see It Chapter Two as the cinematic equivalent of the Mueller Report. Let me explain: If you want your four-star, bow-wrapped prize, you’re gonna be disappointed. However, if you see It for exactly what it is, you might just be delighted. Many of us hoped and, dare I say, expected the Mueller Report to deliver such a scathing condemnation of President Trump that even his hate-spewing toadies like Fox News and Rush Limbaugh would have no choice but to concede that the United States should have elected Hillary Clinton; this was unrealistic. When you step back, however, you will find that while It isn’t quite the taut thrill-ride indictment you had imagined (especially given such justifiable expectations), the Mueller Report instead provided a thorough and methodical study of how our democracy has been compromised, a laundry list of the corrupt behavior of Team Trump, and a rock solid case for impeachment; the exhaustive account essentially concluded that only the most partisan hacks could possibly interpret the words as anything other that an immediate need for action, starting with the removal of the idiot in the oval office.
Similarly, It was so brilliant we became inured in the interim to the idea that the conclusive resolution would be just as good. It wasn’t. BUT, It Chapter Two contained more true scares – and unique scares at that—than the combination of any three average horror films. What are you going to a horror film for, anyway? On multiple occasions in the film, Pennywise claims an innocent. That bugged me, especially the opening when Pennywise kills the victim of a hate crime – why not kill one 
of the haters, dude? But step back from that disappointment. IT IS EVIL. EVIL. What do you expect to find? It accidentally provides justice from time-to-time, like a vigilante? Like when Trump fired Bolton? That’s ridiculous.
This is a long (169 m) tale about confronting a bully. While the franchise will certainly generate ill feelings among the legions of bullies hate-tweeting into the stratosphere, the sentiment is more important than ever, especially as so much of our government [read: the entire current executive branch and most of the GOP] is controlled by those who wield power like a cruel child scorching ants with a magnifying glass.
I feel like criticism of It Chapter Two, though duly warranted, is forest-for-the-trees stuff. In any given year, there are, at best, three or four iconic films, films that people will remember and talk about years from now. To put in perspective, yes, I enjoyed The Peanut Butter Falcon more than I enjoyed It Chapter Two, but unless it pulls some serious award magic, The Peanut Butter Falcon ain’t gonna generate discussion beyond this sentence. Decades from now, horror fans are going to talk about It and It Chapter Two the way fantasy fans talk about Lord of the Rings. The murdering clown is going to be iconic of evil and lunacy for years and years and years. Pennywise will be a Halloween costume your grandchildren will consider. Maybe this wasn’t exactly the film I was hoping for, but It Chapter Two is far, far more synonymous with iconic than disappointment.
♪ Oh yeah yeah yeah
Now if there’s a shock upon my face
It’s only there trying to warn all the baes
But when it comes down to fighting back
Think I’d prefer back at home in PJs
Don’t let my subtle posture
Make you fall for an impostor
Really I’m scared, scared, scared, scared
Don’t know why I had dared
Surely I’m prepared (pared, pared, pared, pared)
Yeah, there’s some evil known to man
It don’t worser than
The fear of a clown, dives me right outta town♫
Rated R, 169 Minutes
Director: Andy Muschietti
Writer: Gary Dauberman
Genre: Bullying
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Gryffindors
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Bullies
♪ Parody Inspired by “Tears of a Clown”
