I don’t really need to review this film, do I? My words will NOT sway your desire to see a SpongeBob film. And, let’s face it; I’ve already reviewed The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water. And if that was THE SpongeBob Movie, what is The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run?
Luckily, your need to know my rating isn’t why I write reviews. Hell, you’ll know after watching ten seconds of a commercial for The Smurfs whether or not you’ll indulge those muthersmurfers, but you -perhaps- disagreeing with my summation will not stop me from writing a novel on My Smuftopus Teacher, now will it? No, I remain convinced that my influence in this realm will have no more effect than if I gave an impassioned diatribe against Twilight, the Designated Hitter, or π. So I’m just gonna talk about SpongeBob, fair?
A tribute to fruit-based architecture, the SpongeBob Squarepants (voice of Tom Kenny) villa is highlighted by a non-compostable two-story, two-room pineapple in the aquapolis of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob lives between a neighbor who hates him (Squidward) and a neighbor who loves him (Patrick, a starfish). SpongeBob seems to be named for both his physicality (he’s a sponge) and his temperament (he’s a square) – however, SpongeBob isn’t a moocher and his pants are also, indeed, square, so it could be that Bob is simply named only for his physical attributes, which would also explain Squidward, Plankton, and SpongeBob’s boss, Mr. Krabs — and I sure hope so in the case of Mr. Krabs.
SpongeBob is a bit of a Pollyanna which allows him to ignore abusive behavior from his boss, neighbor, or any random dishwasher who temporarily loses an S.O.S. pad. He has a dog in the form of a sea snail named Gary. Gary is the McGuffin for this particular SpongeBob adventure. Not that you care about plot, but in this film, the vain sea lord Poseidon runs out of sea snails –the key element of his facial care regimen—and acquires Gary in a tradewith jealous Plankton for the
secret to Krabby patties, the hallmark foodstuff of Mr. Krabs’ restaurant empire. When Gary is stolen, it’s SpongeBob and Patrick to the rescue.
Needless to say, this is a silly film. It doesn’t get any less silly when I tell you the next part: guiding SpongeBob and Patrick on their quest is Sage, a disembodied entity of wisdom and encouragement, which amounts to the rolling head Keanu Reeves stuck in a tumbleweed. This made the film for me. I don’t think the movie was memorable otherwise. The humor was middling; the plot could have been lifted from any episode of SpongeBob … but most episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants don’t have tumbleweed Keanu Reeves advising our heroes not to be morons. Actually, I don’t know this for certain, not having seen much of the cartoon in its natural element (cable TV). I can tell you this much – if I find out Keanu Reeves is a regular on the cartoon, I’m going to watch a lot more SpongeBob Squarepants.
♪Our heroes came home to a mighty thrash
After their workday done
And the Starfish Patrick looked around and said,
“Where has Gary gone?”
Sponge on the run
Sponge on the run
And the doof believes Keanu Reeves
Will help until he’s done
For the Sponge on the run
Sponge on the run♫
Rated PG, 91 Minutes
Director: Tim Hill
Writer: Tim Hill
Genre: Silly
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Those with a taste for silly
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Those who might take issue with a rocket scientist squirrel living under the sea
♪ Parody Inspired by “Band on the Run”
