Question: Why did the Chickenhare cross the Andres? Answer: Dunno; I don’t speak “Hovitos.” Which is a fitting way to begin talking about a film which, in turn, opened with a rodent-themed version of Raiders of the Lost Ark. In the rodent version, the forbidden cave penetrated by brother hares Peter (voices of Brad Venable and Chris McCune. Two people? Wha…?) and Lapin (Danny Fehsenfeld), but displays the treasure only to have it melt on contact; the real prize lies elsewhere.
Ah, but the trip wasn’t a total loss. Rival treasure hunters fell victim to a hungry crocodile leaving behind an infant – a bizarre Greek myth type infant who is rabbit on top, but chicken underneath. King Peter keeps the infant to raise, naming him “Chickenhare,” which seems a little foolish; would you name your child “Human?” So, lemme get this straight – the baby was born part hare, part chicken; then he loses his parents to the teeth of a crocodile (how do we know he lost both parents. Isn’t there some due diligence required there?); he is then discovered an claimed by a hare who turns out to be a king, thus going from bizarre hybrid orphan to a prince in a matter of minutes. That’s quite a turnaround.
With his father being Peter the king –an adventurer- and scheming Uncle Lupin – also an adventurer- in jail for treason, Chickenhare (Chicken-heir?) grows up obsessed with adventuring and finding the lost treasures of the world. Unfortunately, Chickenhare (Jordan Tartakow) also grows up with a huge inferiority complex about his mixed-species background. He even wears a set of false rabbit feet and wears a hat to hide his chickenness. This is, of course, entirely relatable, if –again- a little bizarre. It’s like he’s ok if he’s all hare or all chicken, but being a combination gives him a complex. I suppose that’s very relatable for some kids and even a few adults.
So … can 
Chickenhare suck it up, abandon his kingdom, follow the clues, and find the Hamster of Darkness? He can’t even pass the physical trial to enter the Royal Adventure Society. And shouldn’t the Kingdom of Featherbeard be looking after the child with a bit more vigor? And what if Chickenhare is kind of an impulsive moron, unwittingly springing his evil Uncle in the meantime?
There’s just enough about Chickenhare and the Hamster of Darkness to recommend it. It’s not a stunning piece of work by any measure, but self-acceptance is always a winning message. I can also recommend Chickenhare’s adventure in the land of the hostile Pigmies – pig-like natives who stack like Legos when sleeping; it’s both clever and adorable. This isn’t a must-see and both children and parents will likely avoid repeats, but Chickenhare did have some worthwhile moments and “Hamster of Darkness” is my favorite title in quite some time.
He’s part bunny, part fowl and certainly cares
About which half reveals more stares
Is there mismatched inhabit
Within this hybrid rabbit?
Well, I think that’s just splitting hares
Not Rated, 91 Minutes
Director: Ben Stassen, Benjamin Mousquet
Writer: David Collard
Genre: Tales from Rodentia
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The misunderstood
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Their bullies
