From the genre of “what the Hell am I rooting for?” comes Fuze, a very involved crime story that entertained me for 98 minutes, and yet I still didn’t know what to make of it. Based of the “where are they now?” real-life segment in the end credits, Fuze appears to be based on real-life events … this (apparently) isn’t true, which makes me wonder what the Hell the end credits were about. And this all still leaves me wondering who I should have been rooting for.
There’s a construction site being cleared in the middle of London. And the backhoe uncovers a fake WWII bomb. Ok, this already seems suspect.
Stop. Backtrack.
The bomb is real. It is disguised to look like an unexploded weapon dropped by the Nazis decades earlier and has to be treated as such. The bank robbers planted this elephant-sized explosive to distract the police/military while they robbed a nearby bank.
I have nothing but questions: How do you privately make or steal a bomb of that size without anyone noticing? How do transport a bomb that size without anybody noticing? How do you plant a bomb that size without anybody noticing? How did you know the construction crew was going to dig it up? How did you know they wouldn’t explode the bomb accidentally? How much do you think it costs to invest in burying an elephant-sized functional replica bomb in a vacant lot in the middle of a huge city? And, finally, what is in that bank that is worth such an investment? Oh, and do keep in mind when you answer that London is the most photographed city in the world. There are so many cameras in London that every story in the city is caught on tape. Finding the origin is simply a matter police work and time.
So there are three teams here: 1) The bank robbers, led by Theo James and Sam Worthington. 2) The police team: tapping cameras and clearing out buildings, led by Gugu M’batha-Raw. 3) The military team, in charge of disabling the bomb, led by Aaron Taylor-Johnson. And there’s a whole “why?” about this madness that we not privy to until the last ten minutes of film.
And there’s plenty of betrayal crap. As fun as any heist might be, I loathe betrayal crap because, quite frankly, you need to be able to trust the people you steal with and, grrrr, the double-cross is so cliché. Then there are the betrayal considerations from a pure story POV like: what is our
rooting interest here? Don’t we believe, “snitches get stitches?” Do we really want to root for the guys who double-cross their friends? That doesn’t seem right.
From a logistical POV, isn’t it better to rob a place when a city is bustling? When the only people moving are the robbers, it’s not hard to pick out the villains, knowwhatI’msayin’?
Oh well, that all said, Fuze was entertaining. I’m really not sure how that was possible given all I just said, but it was. There is some clever crimin’ going on, some poor reveals, and one big fat awesome reveal. Is there a star of Fuze? Is there a focal player? I don’t think so … but I can always root against Sam Worthington for his bland uninspired “heroism” in the early days of this blog. That’s a given these days. I can roll with that.
There once was a bomb in a yard
Set off, the whole block would be charred
So they evacuated
While crime perpetrated
Cuz the sewers were left without guard
Rated R, 98 Minutes
Director: David Mackenzie
Writer: Ben Hopkins
Genre: Who am I rooting for? What am I rooting for?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Con artists
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Law enforcement
