Are you afraid of the dark? It’s a common fear. This film wonders if the dark is afraid of you, too. Well, actually, Dark comes across as more insecure (and even a little passive-aggressive) than afraid. Yes, this is a film in which Dark is personified … along with Light, Insomnia, Sleep, Quiet, and literally Things-that-go-bump-in-the-night (a.k.a. “Unexplained Noises”).
OK, OK, so they ripped off Inside Out in the arena of “personifying things that were never meant to be personified.” But, hey, they did it for a good cause: making kids less afraid of the dark. Isn’t that sweet? Doesn’t that justify the blatant steal of existential ideas personified? Of course it does. Right.
Orion (voice of Jacob Tremblay) is afraid of everything. Seriously. Everything. Dark really shouldn’t take it so personally. The kid even has a fear diary, like freaking Rain Man. Geez, kid, be happy you’re in grade school. Adults are far closer to their existential fears; we just call them “anxieties” instead. Anyhoo, Dark (Paul Walter Hauser) visits one night, and he ain’t pleased. Now, one would think that Dark could happily embrace all who love “him” -from nocturnal animals to goths- but noooooooooo, he’s gotta win over Orion, too. You see, no one “hates” Dark more than Orion. Hold up. The kid who is afraid of the dark is named “Orion?” Well, gee, if it weren’t for irony, nothing would be ironic, huh?
Oh, and Dark has a crew. Dark pals with Sleep and Insomnia and Quiet and Unexplained Noises. They all travel the globe doin’ their thing together. Sleep uses magic 
chloroform and looks like Tully the muppet. Insomnia is a whiz at provoking anxieties. I question the need for Insomnia before, during, and after the film. If creation could just lose that guy, I’m not sure any of us would be sad.
Dark comes off as a little needy for such a powerful entity. But he won me over with a home movie narrated by Werner Herzog. I will never scoff at a Werner Herzog self-send-up. So, basically, Dark and his crew take Orion out for a night on Earth, which has a surreal adventure feel to it. And Orion manages to piss off everybody in the process. I know. I know. You’re thinking, “How in the world can Orion piss off Unexplained Noises or Insomnia?” Just wait.
One the one hand, I do gotta hand it to Orion and the Dark. If the objective Charlie Kaufman had in mind was, “Let’s make kids less afraid of the dark,” I think the film was a success. OTOH, Orion and the Dark plays like a poor man’s Inside Out. And it will probably annoy even timid children with the sheer volume of Orion fears. It also might scare a few. You’re going to have to convince the afraid-of-the-dark child to watch the movie to the end. Don’t worry; it will still be there. Dark is everywhere.
There once was a kid named Orion
Who feared everything, I ain’t lyin,
Got a visit from Dark
Who took him for a lark
And now he sleeps fine without tryin’
Rated TV-Y7, 93 Minutes
Director: Sean Charmatz
Writer: Charlie Kaufman, Emma Yarlett, Lloyd Taylor
Genre: Things that go bump in the night … because that’s their job
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Kids afraid of the dark?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Do we really need a personification of sleepless anxiety?”
