Reviews

A Haunted House 2

I don’t like being screamed at. Does anybody? This puts me at odds almost immediately with Marlon Wayans who reacts to all stimuli in a horror film by behaving like an infant in need of changing.

That is to say when he’s not having furious sex with a puppet. Some things you cannot make up. You know in Team America: World Police where the two puppets have sex? And not just vanilla sex, but a veritable cornucopia of intense sexual arousal? Yeah, that. Substitute Marlon Wayans for the guy puppet and the creepy doll in the first 5 minutes of The Conjuring for the girl puppet and that’s a quality ten minutes of A Haunted House 2. Now, I’m gonna guess that the idea of a grown naked man going down on a Cabbage Patch Kid is going to strike you in one of two ways. If it’s the way in which you laugh, it’s very possible you are capable of enjoying this film.

I’m not sure I need to write the rest of this. Seriously.

I thought the doll’s payback of becoming over-the-top needy was inspired. And the “MISS ME” stuff actually makes more sense in this context. And if A Haunted House 2 could keep that up, maybe Marlon wouldn’t scream at the camera every two minutes.

Let’s just hit the highlights, shall we? If you like the raunch, A Haunted House 2 is better than its predecessor. I think it’s all about what you choose to parody; the last film took on the Paranormal Activity series, peppering in some Mama and The Devil Inside. This version took on a better and more distinctive set of films: The Conjuring, Sinister, The imagePossession and a bit of Dark Skies. The Sinister stuff works the best with Malcom (Wayans) sucking back a fifth and donning that terrible lamb sweater Ethan Hawke wears in the film while “enjoying” the diabolical home movies. Except it’s a parody, so the devil guy has difficulty with the executions.

Eh, screw it. Look, it’s another Wayans parody. There will be a few hits. There will be many misses. There will be Marlon’s ass and Cedric the Entertainer as a rogue priest and mediocrities like Jaime Pressly, Essence Atkins, and Gabriel Iglesias desperately trying to remain employable. This isn’t that film, but it isn’t a career killer, either.

Does HH2 work? It depends
They’ve captured a few of the trends
And just when you think
“This might not stink”
Marlon yells into the lens

Rated R, 86 Minutes
D: Michael Tiddes
W: Marlon Wayans & Rick Alvarez
Genre: Screaming & shaming
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: A Wayans brother
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Your grandmother

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